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LiveJournal for Docta Johnathan L. Sparks.

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Sunday, October 19th, 2003

(3 malpratice cases | Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[531] New Journal!!
Time:2:24 pm.
After two years I've finally decided to retire this journal for good, so I've got a new one (one I'll actually write in). itsfinchytime Add me. k thnx.

Sunday, October 5th, 2003

(Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[530] The New SNL
Time:12:11 am.
My god...the montage...the theme song...the monologue...WILL FERRELL...the set...the sketches....

This is just too much. SNL can't get any better than this.

Monday, September 22nd, 2003

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Subject:[529] It's been a while, baby!
Time:11:18 pm.
Will update once I have something relevant to say.

Which wont be for a lonnnnnnnng time...

Saturday, September 13th, 2003

(1 malpratice case | Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[528] We've lost another great one..
Time:7:37 pm.
John Ritter's the man. RIP.

Tuesday, September 9th, 2003

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Subject:[527] To the RIAA
Time:9:23 pm.
Mood: pissed off.
FUCK YOU!!!

Thank you for your time.

*under breath*
Douche bags.

Monday, September 8th, 2003

(Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[526] I can already tell, people.
Time:10:27 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
If every day is just like today, this is gonna be one hilarious year.

(3 malpratice cases | Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[525] And it begins for the 10th time
Time:5:50 am.
5:50am. My 10th grade year begins in not even 3 hours, and I enter it with a whole new set of dignity.

Who the hell am I kidding, I'll probably do something that'll make it all go away before lunch.

Friday, September 5th, 2003

(2 malpratice cases | Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[523] Another post, another quiz
Time:11:13 pm.

Colin Mochrie


Which 'Whose Line is it Anyway?' actor are you!?
brought to you by Quizilla

I've always liked Ryan Stiles better but this seems to be so true about me.

(2 malpratice cases | Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[522] Christina Aguilera
Time:12:52 pm.
Mood: awake.
Picture of Christina Aguilera I found:


I know this may come as a surprise to most of you, but keep in mind that she's already fucked pretty much everybody whose ever been in Louisiana...and Ohio, New Jersey, Maryland, Massachusetts, New York, Washington state, Washington DC, Georgia, New Mexico, North Carolina, South Carolina, Wyoming, Nevada, Colorado, California, Connecticut, the other 48 contiguous states and the commonwealth of Puerto Rico.

(6 malpratice cases | Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[521] I know I'm really fucking late with this little compatibility thing, but it's 3am and I don't tend to make very wise decisions at this hour.
Time:2:59 am.
Mood: tired.
wtcpdoug 102%
candredesz 98%
care83bear 95%
2ndcitywhore 91%
daffyhaylox666 91%
_unruly 91%
fronkeys 89%
this_desire 80%
sirak 76%
xandriaeus 72%
How compatible with me are YOU?


That's 3 posts within the course of 2 hours. Ouch.

(Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[520] Last Call with Carson Daly
Time:2:09 am.
This is just unbearable to watch. Anyone agree? Anyone read this thing at all..??

(Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[519] New color scheme...AGAIN
Time:1:14 am.
Wow. Looks a bit gayer but I'll settle for it.

Thursday, September 4th, 2003

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Subject:[518] I'm a hypocrite.....is it spelled with an e? Or without it? Someone let me know..
Time:1:43 am.
I said a few months back that I will never ever ever eat Dinty Moore canned beef stew ever again. Guess what. I just had some. And it still tastes like shit.

Wow. The last few days of vacation before school and I'm spending them contemplating about what canned beef stew tastes like.

Wednesday, September 3rd, 2003

(Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[517] Summer of 2003 in review
Time:3:53 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
*Walks out from behind the curtains onto the stage where a spotlight is shined on me.*

Pure balls.

*Bows, then exits the stage, the audience wildly applauding.*

Friday, August 29th, 2003

(4 malpratice cases | Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[516] Lesbianesque activity at last night's VMA's
Time:9:50 pm.
Mood: amused.


And it was then, at last night's MTV Video Music Awards, where sex-deprived nerds all over the country joined together in a silent masturbatory moment.


Oh, and by the way, Jack Black's hosting the SNL premiere. Kick ass.

Wednesday, August 27th, 2003

(13 malpratice cases | Make an appointment with the Docta)

Time:4:59 pm.
He who smelt it dealt it.

Monday, August 25th, 2003

(3 malpratice cases | Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[514] Public urination - yet another trademark of this great great city.
Time:6:10 pm.
Mood: amused.
So on Saturday I was out and about in Queens, and I'm going to the Rockaways. So I get off the A train at Broad Channel to wait for the shuttle to Rockaway Park, and suddenly I see this guy at the end corner of the station (I was towards the back) with his back turned facing the wall, so I put 2 and 2 together and figure he's taking a piss. Big deal, I say. I've pissed in the street dozens of times when I was drunk. But then I look up and see that there's a security camera pointed directly at the guy. Then I start chuckling because, hey, probably this guy's busted. Sure enough, about a minute later, I see two cops coming walking towards him and I'm trying to hold my laughter in because I don't want to be taken down along with him. So the cops go up to him, ask him if he has any ID, his speech si slurred and he's stuttering, so they put him in handcuffs and take him away.

And a good time was had by all.

Thursday, August 21st, 2003

(2 malpratice cases | Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[513] Yay for one-liner journal entries.
Time:11:16 pm.
Mood: worried.
I should really write in here more often.

Friday, August 15th, 2003

(Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[512] There aint no lights in this city, so it's time to play grab-ass in the dark!!
Time:5:43 pm.
Mood: accomplished.
That was one crazzzzzzzy blackout. The street lights were out, the huge ass jumbotron in Times Square was shut down, the subways still arent working, it's insane. I was eating at a McDonalds with my friend when all of a sudden the lights shut off. The lights are off but somehow the radio manages to stay on. So I say loudly "Yeah, we have no lights, but we get to listen to Michael Bolton!" So we leave and luckily I wasnt too far from my house so I didnt have to walk far. I was actually pretty close to being caught in the subway when the power went out. I was thinking of going to the Best Buy on 23rd Street and I was planning on taking the F train, right near where the UCB theater is, but I changed my mind. This was 20 minutes before the blackout started, so I lucked out this time. Last night I got little if any sleep, because it was too fucking humid outside!! The power came back around 6:45am, but my broadband ISP was down until like 2:30, so until then I had to be subjected to....*shudder* dial-up......thank god that hell is over.

Monday, August 11th, 2003

(3 malpratice cases | Make an appointment with the Docta)

Subject:[511] But it's time...to...end...the...showwwwwwww
Time:2:29 am.
Mood: depressed.
New layout. Well, sort of. This is probably like the 3rd or 4th time I've had this layout. Plain, yes. But I'm too damn lazy to customize anything myself, so perhaps the next layout will be a little more original.

Finally taped The Best of Molly Shannon last night, it originally aired in April 2001 and I've been waiting for NBC to re-air it ever since, since I forgot to tape it the first time. Big shout-outs to that Courtney Love Show sketch, that was hilARious!

2:30am and I have a craving for Subway. Ain't that a bitch.

LiveJournal for Docta Johnathan L. Sparks.

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You're looking at the latest 20 entries. Missed some entries? Then simply jump back 20 entries.